We like to dream big. Why else would we be doing this, after all? And when it comes to dreaming big, we stop and consider the day when Meatbagz will (yes, will) be not only our main source of income, but be so fabulously successful that it will become a household name, send our kids to college, and buy us that dream house (okay, compound) on the coast where we will all reside without a care in the world.
Yup, that sounds about right.
Of course, once we become world famous, we’ll need someone who can really put a face to the Meatbagz name. Kate, Sam, Cal, and all the other friends we’ve conned into being models have been great and all that, but we’ll be BIG TIME, here, peeps, and we need a fabulous body to wear those bagz.
Yes, probably one of the most obvious options would be to hire Indiana Jones to be the Official Meatbagz model and spokesperson,
but as good as he looks with his Meatbag strapped across his chest, after Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull we’re pretty sure Harrison Ford isn’t too eager to put that hat on again any time soon.
Then, of course, we need to draw in the young, “hep” crowd (which will of course still be young and “hep” when we are multimillionaires) with a fresh face…
and while Zac Efron may be cute, he’s a little bit too cute for Meatbagz. Plus, come on. The poor boy doesn’t even know how to properly handle Meatbagz at all. No one’s sadder than we are that it didn’t work out, Zac.
So we are left with only one option, really. Who is the quintessential Meatbagz model, capable of getting across exactly who we are, what we stand for, and how absolutely, unapologetically awesome we are with one piercing glance?