The traitor that we will refer to as “Kate” took a real job. A real job as in she has to be there every morning in exchange for a pay check at the end of the week. Which leaves me, Mackenzie, to push ahead in Meatbagz land ALONE.
First, I pulled over in front of the Salem library to jack their free wi-fi. I had to upload pictures. I also had to pull over so I could discuss some important business things with Kate. Over the phone. On the speaker as I was on the computer. I realized that I looked like some sort of tech-douche sitting there with the computer out and the smartphone to my mouth. I might as well have had a blue tooth in my ear. It wasn’t as funny when there wasn’t anyone else there. I just felt like a douche.
Then I got to the workshop and tried to squeeze myself, a camera bag, a laptop bag, a phone, a travel mug and a large blue container in the doorway which was only opened half way. I dropped my phone and almost lost the computer when I realized it would be much easier to put it all in the large blue container. Kate would have thought of that. And she also would have called me a jackass. Which I called myself but it seemed meaner when I said it.
On the way up the stairs my tea tipped over and spilled on my shirt, burning me in the process. Together we would have laughed and rolled our eyes, but the only sound I heard was the echoing “ow ow ow ow ow…” in the too quiet building.
I thought maybe a nice snack of peanut m&m’s and twizzlers would help. But alas, the twizzlers were staler and the m&m’s less crunchy than they would have been if Kate was here.
As I was turning on the computer and setting things up I turned to Kate to tell her something. But she wasn’t there. And suddenly her chair looked hideously empty. It wasn’t right, so I got Bella and put her in it. The only thing was, whenever she answered one of my questions, her voice sounded like mine. Plus, she’s creepy and I kinda feel like my best friend in the cubicle next to me left the company and got replaced with some idiot that I can’t stand. Her presence just annoys me. So I put her back.
I did some shipping, but of course there was only ONE bag to ship. Not a nice little cozy pile, just one. Almost not worth it. Just me and that one bag. Going to the post office all alone.
And so, as I sat there in that beautiful old building, inhaling floor stain from the newly refinished floors, listening to a raccoon chatter outside and pondering the change, I realized that someday I too will have a “real” job. I too will have to go somewhere else in the mornings, but until that day comes I will be happy to hold down the Meatbagz fort. Alone.
***Just to be clear, the only thing that has changed is Kate is not around in the mornings. It’s a small change and something we thought would be fun to blog about. The only thing that could possibly drag her away from meatbagz would be an abduction by Todd the Hobo. But that’s another post for another day…